Immediately i stepped my feet in my NYSC Orientation camp, i observed that i lost some of my civic rights. I can’t wear any other clothes apart from the one recommended by the camp, i can’t leave the environment until 21 days elapses. You will only eat during meal time if you miss out you wait for the next meal.

I asked myself why did i enter this camp at the first place? But i observed that all these were for a purpose.

I asked myself again why are soldiers our trainers? I found out that they want to inculcate in us the mindset of a soldier. You know we learn mostly by observing. I began to observe the Soldiers in the camp. I found out that on the day we were sworn in as corps members, having passed through strenuous exercises, parades and drills, a welcome party was thrown were everyone was allowed to dance.

I observed virtually all the corps members and camp directors danced, but none of the soldiers danced. It popped some questions in my heart. Are they not human beings? Yes they are. Don’t they have flesh. They have. Honestly i developed interest on them.

I concluded that that soldiers don’t entangle themselves with civilian affairs. They focus on their Duty and Mission. A soldier’s primary responsibility is to serve their country by fulfilling military duties, which often requires complete focus on missions, training, and readiness. Involving themselves in civilian matters could distract them from their military obligations.

A soldier functions under a strict hierarchy and code of conduct. Soldiers are expected to remain disciplined and professional, which includes refraining from political or civilian involvement that could interfere with their duties or create conflicts of interest..

Soldiers need to be ready to deploy or respond to national emergencies at any time. If they are tied up in civilian matters, it may hinder their ability to fulfill their military commitments swiftly and effectively.

Now i want to speak to you as a child of God that you are a soldier of Christ. You are not meant to entangle yourself with civilian affairs which include every form of distraction in obeying the command of your commanding officer (Jesus Christ.) The church is called the Saint Militant. We are to earnestly contend for the faith which was handed over to us by our fathers. Defend the gospel and proclaim the gospel to the world.

There should be a clear distinction between a soldier and a civilian. My question to you as a believer is, ARE YOU A SOLDIER? If you are, let your lifestyle show it.

Bro Chiedozie Ubani

Each time that she’s maltreating my child, she asks me not to intervene leaving me feeling guilty & ineffective as a parent. Deep down, I know I’m not being a good father to my 4yr old daughter, but I’m so helpless. I’m so deeply in love with my new wife.

She understands & cares for me like no one els, if I’m to be honest, she’s sweet & does things for me that no woman, even my late wife, has ever done. Actually, the fault isn’t mine but that of my late wife’s family. Despite my pleads to take my daughter they refuse insisting she needs her fathers love & attention. I’m an only child of my parents, i only have my mom left & i cant stress her with the responsibility of taking my child cuz of her age.

On several occasions, I’ve pleaded with my late wife’s family repeatedly to take my daughter offering financial support & even promising to send money for her upkeep & needs. But they insist on her staying with me. Now, my wife demands I chose between her & my daughter saying she can’t accommodate her anymore. I’ve tried begging my wife, but she insists I get rid of her.

Pls, What can I do about this? I’m confused & honestly do not know if I’m ready to let my new wife whom loves & understands me so well go bcoz of my daughter as I also do have my own life to live, I’m a 48 year old lonely young man who also deserves a sweet & good love life, but Now I’m trapped between love & fatherhood.”

Nb; Picture unrelated
#Fatherhood
#marriagecounseling

Most Men, especially African men, do feel they are doing women favour when they marry them as single mothers, but it’s a paradox and a social myth that must be educated.
90% of single mothers are also good wives in the marriage market .

Firstly, why do women become single mothers?
Some are DELIBERATE, some are TRAGEDIES (widows) while some are MISTAKES. So if you happen to like a single mother, investigate her motive before you configure the drivers of your feelings.

If it was a MISTAKE OF TRAGEDY, trust me she can be the best WIFE you can ever think of.

1. Single mothers that made mistakes do bring total SUBMISSION to the table of marriage once they know that the man is honest and sincere, because they will see marriage as a classroom where they must correct the mistakes they made in the past.

2. If you want to WIN her, love her child first, and you will see that she will LOVE you with her last breath and blood.

3. Don’t forget that as a woman that has put to BED before, there’s 85% assurance that she will conceive without toiling from one prayer house to the other to conceive; the baby is evidence of her fruitfulness.

4. Single Mums treat their husbands as LORDS for the sacrifices they make, and easily forgive them no matter the gravity of what they err.

5. If you marry her, do not discriminate the child in your children’s budget, see them as equals so you don’t sprout the seed of jealousy.

6. If she is a single mum as a widow you may not have problem but if the child’s father is alive, both of you should have an agreement from the beginning on welfare and information management. Don’t deny the father access to his child but put a password before he can have access to your wife; it implies the gateway should be defined while you monitor the parameters; trust me, the child will grow up to love you as the man that made his/her mother happy more than the biological father.