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As I sit here, tears streaming down my face, I am overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions. At 36, married with one child for my husband and two from previous relationships, I find myself questioning every decision that led me to this point. I regret getting married, not out of love, but out of fear and desperation.

As I sit here, tears streaming down my face, I am overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions. At 36, married with one child for my husband and two from previous relationships, I find myself questioning every decision that led me to this point. I regret getting married, not out of love, but out of fear and desperation.

I never truly felt the urge to marry in my 20s, even though I was a beautiful woman constantly admired by men from all walks of life. However, as I entered my 30s, the relentless societal pressure, combined with the dwindling number of serious suitors, pushed me into a corner. The fear of remaining unmarried, coupled with the social media flaunting of friends’ happy marriages, only heightened my desperation.

At 32, I met a responsible and wealthy man, 41 years old, who loved and cared for me deeply. Despite not being attracted to him, I saw this as my golden opportunity to secure a stable future. Without a second thought, I accepted his proposal and we have been married for three years. But as time passed, the excitement waned, and I found myself entangled in temptations.

A few months into our marriage, I began to attract attention from men who were exactly my type. I resisted for three years, but ultimately, I succumbed to the allure of a man who satisfies me in ways my husband never could. This new man is rich, caring, and deeply in love with me. I have been with him for four months and, shamefully, I am now four weeks pregnant with his child.

I am torn. I regret rushing into marriage with a man I do not love, driven by societal pressure and desperation. Now, I find myself deeply in love with someone else, someone who accepts me and my children, even though he believes they all belong to my husband. The excitement and passion I feel for this new man are feelings I have not experienced in years.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, and everyone deserves to be with someone they love and who loves them back. Yet, here I am, trapped in a marriage where I feel nothing but pity for my husband, whose mere presence now irritates me. I am constantly lost in thoughts, dreaming of a life with the new man who has reignited my passion for love.

I am at a crossroads, unsure of what to do. I long for the sweetness of love, to be with someone who makes my heart race. But I am also aware of the commitment I made and the impact my decisions will have on my children and everyone involved. I am in desperate need of advice, as my heart aches and my mind is in turmoil.