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Everyday, I bless God that I didn’t marry in my 20s, The kind of men I desired in my 20s are different from the kind of men I want now in my 30s
I used to like dark guys from a particular region (preferably Yoruba or River State) with certain degrees, strong Christian religious guys that speaks in tongues, maybe a youth pastor… you know. I didn’t want to date a foreigner let alone marry one.
I was travelling around the world, going to places meeting wonderful people but I was turning down anything that looks like a romantic relationships because those people by the virtue of their race, ethnicity or religion didn’t meet the criteria of what my ideal man should be.
This was in my 20s… more than 10 years ago.
I had little understanding about the real world or personal values.
Then I lost my Dad… Maybe God called my Dad home so I could grow up and see life for what it is.
When I lost my brother 5 months after I lost my Dad, I called my then boyfriend to go and be with my mom because I was just coming into the country… he said he couldn’t that he doesn’t have transport. I asked him to sent his account number, he said he couldn’t, then he switched off his phone.
My mom was the only one at home when my brother d!.ed, the rest of my siblings were in school so there was no one with my mom. I know families would soon come, I needed someone there, I needed someone during the darkest moment of my life… but the person I trusted turned me down.
I started calling those I could remember to go be with my mom… I just wanted someone to be there before I arrive.
I called someone I just met, a medical doctor in a different state entirely, he left his job immediately and drove 4 hours journey to be there while I was on my way.
This was the first lesson I learnt.
Lesson 1: Be with someone reliable, who can hold your hands and give you the support you need when you are down. Everyday is not going to be all rainbow and sunshine, be with those who will stay with you when the sky goes dark.
While I was handling my father’s business, I was interacting with men my fathers age, I was having REAL LIFE ISSUES.
Finance,
Siblings,
Education,
My personal life,
Family expectations.
Three years after my father d!.ed, I had been cheated on, betrayed, made mockery of, fvc.ked over by the people I think should have my back, I started seeing where I was getting it wrong… I understood my values, my family dynamics, my life goals and my current journey. These were the beginning of my growth.
I started meeting the kind of friends, people and having the kind of conversation I want, but for the sake of this post, I started meeting the kind of men I want to be romantically involved with.
I started meeting people who shares similar values with me.
Imagine calling your boyfriend “my boss sent me a last minute errand so I’m travelling tomorrow” and he says, don’t worry, I will drop you off at the airport before I go to the office.
Imagine turning on your phone after your plane lands and the first call that enters your phone is from him telling you he has asked one of his friends to pick you up from the airport because he was still busy at the shop.
Imagine visiting his family and everyone is excited to meet you and treating you special. His family has an event and they included you in the plans and bought you the family uniform… A GIRLFRIEND IN NIGERIA!
Your mom was sick at night and you were worried because you’re not in town, and he asks you “is she at home?”
Then he is driving from his house by 12:am to pick up your mom and take her to the hospital and stay with them till 3am before he went back home because he would resume work the next day.
Imagine having bitter arguments with someone that understands conflict resolution, someone who wants the relationship to work.
Imagine being with someone you can plan a business with, share business ideas and seal deals together, someone you feel safe with…
I started meeting these categories of men in my 30s and I learnt lesson number 2.
2. I do not need a partner from a particular race or tribe or region, or religious ideology,
It’s about a person who shares similar values with me.
I know a typical Nigerian that doesn’t think, is reading this post and be like “why didn’t you marry them na” because the only thing in you people’s head is marry marry marry… nothing else
Many things can end a beautiful relationship.
Genotype, distance, choices to have or not to have children, mental health issues, psychological disorders, terminal ailments or worst death.
So yes, a person might be good for you but not every relationship would end in marriage.
Some relationships happen for you to heal from all the yamayama you have dated,
Some happen for you to grow or to make you experience feelings you never know existed and to make you meet different personalities.
Some relationships happens to make you see the bigger picture and remind you that your spec of partner actually exists.
Your 20s is to explore life, get experience and make tons of mistakes,
Your 30s is to leverage on the lessons you’ve learnt and build on it.
Your 40s to finish up what you have been building,
And your 50s is for you to sit back and enjoy everything you have built over the years.
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It was supposed to be a life-changing journey to Canada, a place filled with hopes, dreams, and endless possibilities. Yet, I found myself back in my Nigerian village two months later, empty-handed, all because of an encounter I had with an old woman named Margaret
I never expected that a small act of kindness would mark the beginning of my downfall. My journey to Canada was supposed to be a dream come true—a place of endless possibilities and bright prospects. But two months later, I found myself back in my Nigerian village, empty-handed, all because of a fateful encounter with an old woman named Margaret. She wasn’t just any ordinary woman; she was a master of disguise, a witch who set her eyes on my fortune and future.
It all began innocently. I arrived in Toronto filled with ambition and enthusiasm, and soon got involved in community activities, even volunteering with local groups. One cold, rainy afternoon, I noticed an elderly woman, hunched and shivering, struggling to carry her grocery bags across the street. She looked frail, weak, and alone. Without hesitation, I went over to help her. She gave me a smile that felt slightly off, almost unsettling, and introduced herself as Margaret.
She explained that she lived alone and had no family nearby. She asked if I could help her carry her groceries home, and I agreed, thinking it was the least I could do. After all, what harm could come from helping an old woman in need? When we reached her apartment, a strange chill ran down my spine. The place was dimly lit, filled with the smell of herbs, and strange symbols carved into the walls. She thanked me, offered me tea, and insisted I drink it to “warm up.” Although I felt uneasy, I took a sip out of politeness.
In the days following that encounter, strange things began to happen. I started having unsettling dreams of being back in my village, endlessly working but achieving nothing. Initially, I brushed it off as homesickness, but the dreams grew stronger, leaving me tired and uneasy. It felt as if something was calling me back to Nigeria, a mysterious pull that I couldn’t ignore.
One day, a friend noticed my exhausted state and commented on my drastic change in appearance. Concerned, he urged me to visit a spiritual healer. Reluctantly, I agreed, willing to try anything to feel normal again. The healer looked at me intently and asked if I had recently offended anyone. Confused, I mentioned my encounter with the old woman. She sighed, her eyes widening, and said, “That woman is no ordinary person. She’s tied your fortune to hers—she’s cursed you.”
The nightmare only intensified from that point on. I felt my fortune slipping away. Job opportunities vanished, my bank account drained faster than I could keep up, and even my friends started to distance themselves. It was as if an unseen force was sucking away everything I had worked for. Soon, I couldn’t afford my rent, food, or basic needs. The harsh reality set in: I had no choice but to return to Nigeria, defeated, without a penny to my name.
Two months after arriving in Canada with so much hope, I was back in my village, surrounded by familiar sights that now felt tainted by my experience. The dreams I’d had in Canada had become my reality. I was home again, jobless, broke, and with an uncertain future. Worse still, it felt like I could hear Margaret’s voice echoing in my mind, laughing at my misery, as if she had orchestrated this entire ordeal.
Helping others has always been a principle I value deeply, but this experience taught me a difficult lesson—not everyone who appears in need is what they seem. Sometimes, even acts of kindness can become traps when dealing with forces beyond our understanding. Looking back, I realize Margaret wasn’t just an old woman in need; she was a manipulative spirit who saw my innocence as an opportunity to ensnare me.
Now, as I sit here, recounting my story, I feel the weight of the experience and the lessons it has left behind. My Canadian dream turned into a nightmare, not because of the country but because of that fateful encounter. Among my people here in the village, where there is understanding and spiritual insight, I can begin to heal and rebuild. Though I may have returned empty-handed, my spirit remains intact. My name is Chijindu Uwakwe, and I am determined to rise again, stronger and wiser.
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My name is Marydivine, and this is the most complicated, painful, and frankly, tragic story I could ever share. The story of how I ended up marrying the same man as my identical twin sister, Maryjane, all because of a mistake.
I Married the Same Man as My Twin Sister And It All Started with a Mistaken Affair”
My name is Marydivine, and this is the most complicated, painful, and frankly, tragic story I could ever share. The story of how I ended up marrying the same man as my identical twin sister, Maryjane — all because of a mistake. A mistake that changed our lives forever and led to one of the most heartbreaking and confusing events in my life.
It all began with Martins. He was handsome, charming, and everything I thought I wanted in a man. We met through friends at a gathering, and we hit it off immediately. I never thought much of it at first — just casual flirting, a few dates, some sweet conversations. But with time, things started to escalate. I felt myself growing more attached to him. He made me feel special, like I was the only woman in the room when he was around.
But here’s the thing about being an identical twin — we look the same. We share the same face, the same figure, the same eyes. For most people, it’s a blessing. For us, sometimes, it can be a curse. Our bond was always close, but things got even more complicated when Martins started showing more interest in both of us.
At first, it was innocent. I’ll admit, we both liked the attention, especially because we knew he couldn’t tell us apart at first. It was funny, harmless even. But then, one night, things went too far.
It happened at a party. Martins had invited both Maryjane and me, and we were having a good time, enjoying the music and laughter, when I had to step out for a bit. I told him I was going to the bathroom, but that’s when everything changed.
Unbeknownst to me, Maryjane had been wearing a dress identical to mine that night. When she walked into the room where Martins was waiting, he didn’t hesitate. He thought it was me. And what followed… was something neither of us could ever take back.
They had an affair.
It wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t know anything about it until the next day when everything started unraveling. Martins came to me, looking disheveled, and with guilt written all over his face. He told me he had something to confess. That’s when he told me about the night with “me.” But then he looked at me, confused, and said, “You were so different last night. Your energy, your touch… it felt off. Was it really you?”
That’s when I found out — the woman he had been with was not me, but Maryjane.
I was devastated. My twin sister, my own flesh and blood, had been with the man I was falling for. I couldn’t believe it. How could she? How could he? I felt humiliated, betrayed, and heartbroken. But that was only the beginning.
Maryjane, upon finding out what happened, was furious with me. She felt as though I had betrayed her by getting involved with the same man. She didn’t even realize that I had no idea what had happened between her and Martins. She was hurt that I had somehow “stolen” him from her, even though she had been the one to start the affair.
But Martins didn’t see it that way. He came to both of us, apologizing profusely for his mistake. He explained that he was confused about which one of us he had been with that night, but that he loved both of us. And in his twisted mind, he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
The situation spiraled out of control. Neither Maryjane nor I knew what to do. We fought, cried, and argued. Neither of us wanted to let go of Martins. But the truth was, we were both emotionally invested in him, and neither of us was willing to walk away.
And that’s when it happened.
Martins proposed. To both of us. On the same day.
I still remember it like it was yesterday. He stood in front of us, one on each side, looking back and forth between us with those pleading eyes. He said he didn’t want to lose either of us, that we were both “his” in different ways. He wanted us both. He couldn’t choose. He loved us both. And so, against all reason and common sense, he asked us both to marry him. And in a moment of weakness, in a haze of confusion and love, we both said yes.
We married on the same day, in the same ceremony, with both Maryjane and me wearing identical white dresses. The wedding was surreal — a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. It was beautiful, but the guilt, the confusion, and the emotional weight of it all lingered in the air.
Martins got what he wanted — two women who looked the same, two women who were both deeply in love with him. But neither Maryjane nor I could ever truly be happy. Our marriage, all of it, was built on lies, deception, and a mistake neither of us could undo.
I don’t know if this was love, or if it was just twisted fate, but it has ruined our lives in ways that I can’t even explain. Neither of us was truly happy in that marriage. And over the years, we both drifted away from Martins. We couldn’t stand to look at him, knowing what had happened. The fact that he had confused us, manipulated our emotions, and ultimately destroyed the bond between us, was too much to bear.
Today, Maryjane and I are estranged. We don’t talk anymore. We barely see each other. Our bond, once so strong, was broken by a man who thought he could have it all.
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Police arraign suspected killer of 19-year-old Enugu scavenger
The Enugu State Police Command has announced the arraignment and remand of 30-year-old Tsehemba Joshua for the alleged armed robbery and murder of 19-year-old scrap scavenger, Yusuf Ibrahim.
This was disclosed in a statement by the Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Daniel Ndukwe, which was also shared on the command’s X account and titled, “Enugu Police Arrest, Arraign and Remand Male Suspect for Conspiracy, Armed Robbery, and Murder of Scrap Scavenger.”
“Joshua is accused of conspiring with two accomplices, currently at large, to rob and strangle the victim. He has been remanded to the Enugu Correctional Custodial Centre following his court appearance,” the statement read.
Operatives from the Udenu Police Division arrested Joshua after a community alert about a shallow grave discovered at Ojo River, Ogbodu-Aba, Obollo Community.
“The suspect was arrested by operatives from the Udenu Police Division of the Command, following a community alert regarding a shallow grave discovered in a bush at Ojo River in Ogbodu-Aba, Obollo Community, Udenu LGA,” it noted.
Joshua confessed to luring the victim with a fake scrap motor vehicle sale, robbing him of N100,000, and then strangling and burying him on October 2, 2024.
“The suspect confessed to luring the victim under the pretence of selling a scrap motor vehicle propeller before robbing him of N100,000, strangling, and burying his body in a shallow grave on October 2, 2024.
“After a thorough investigation of the case by the Campus Monitoring/Anti-Cultism Section of the State CID Enugu, the suspect was arraigned and subsequently remanded, pending further court proceedings,” the statement concluded.
In August, the state command also detained a 30-year-old man for the alleged murder of his neighbour’s four-year-old daughter while she was sleeping.
The Command, in September, stated that it was investigating the murder of the Chairman of Ogbete Main Market Traders Association, Stephen Aniago.
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Spiritual Powers4 days ago
I just had an expensive wedding, and 2 months later, the company I worked for decided to shut down, & I lost my job. I sat at home for 6 good months cuz I couldn’t find any job that suited my standards. My wife was the one paying all the bills & providing for our feeding with the little amount she gets per month as a teacher
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Spiritual Powers4 days ago
My Masculine Urge To Have Sex Had Reduced Drastically Over The Years Until I Did This To Rejuvenate My Power.” A Man From Durban