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I’m not married but I have a child with a man based in Europe. We have been in a relationship known to our people. Our journey has been rough but we are still pushing. Why are we not married? Anytime I bring up the topic, he says he is scared that I don’t obey or listen to him

I really need an advice. I’m not married but I have a child with a man based in Europe. We have been in a relationship known to our people. Our journey has been rough but we are still pushing. Why are we not married? Anytime I bring up the topic, he says he is scared that I don’t obey or listen to him. That I always want my will to be done and he feels we have not gotten to where we can marry with this attitude. Truly, I can be stubborn, especially when I know his suggestion won’t work and in almost all the time, my suggestion works.

He recently applied for family reunion visa for me to join him with our child and the visa was approved. I will be moving in October. He wants us to live together but I declined that I won’t cohabit. I have made plans for my accommodation and he is aware.

The reason why I’m here is that I want the relationship to work but he has been distant emotionally with me. We don’t talk often anymore, just once a week. It feels like it’s only our child that is keeping us. I have asked him if all is well with us and he said yes, only that he does not want to be fighting or arguing with me anymore. I feel bad and I want to put the effort to make it work. How do I go about this