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Sunday I decided to go and greet my parents since I was passing towards our family house. When I got to the door about to open and enter I heard Chibueze my nephew murmuring to my Dad saying; Daddy, she is here should I also hide our toothpaste so she will not lick that one too?

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So, yesterday being Sunday I decided to go and greet my parents since I was passing towards our family house.

When I got to the door about to open and enter I heard Chibueze my nephew murmuring to my Dad saying;

Daddy, she is here should I also hide our toothpaste so she will not lick that one too?

I was like Aah aah ónye kwa(Who)? Who is licking my parent’s toothpaste again?

When I entered I noticed the look on Chibueze’s face.

I didn’t pay attention to Chibueze I only greeted my Aunty my Dad’s elder sister who came from Jos to see him.

That my Aunty is a tórtóise. a big one at that! oke mbe.

I hugged her and told her it wasn’t fair so if I hadn’t come to see my parents I wouldn’t have known she had come.

She said what I did not even understand facing the ground.

Inside me, I said Aunty the feeling is mutual.

You don’t lîke me and I don’t lîke you too maybe is because I took after her… I resemble her in everything.

Two captains they say can never be in one bolt.

I wanted to go inside and greet my Mom.

My Dad called me back and asked me if I had their spare key with me.

I said yes…

My Dad told me to hand the spare key to him.

I turned and asked my Aunty what was going on because I know her too well and I know she must have told my Dad something about me.

The way my Aunty attàckéd me I’ve already known she has mûrdéréd me before my Dad.

My Dad said her sister had told him what I posted on my WhatsApp status and that she screenshot and showed him too.

That I made a post on my WhatsApp I would come to our family house and empty the house.

I was shocked!!

I was shocked because I had the intention of coming to steal all the foodstuffs in the family house and I already came prepared but I never made such a post on my status. 

In fact, for months I’ve not posted on my status.

I stood and only concluded my Aunty had become a wîtch that she read that from my mind not my status because I hardly post.

I quickly prayed let my Dad not search my handbag because she would see 2 sack bags I wanted to use and pack rice, beans, fish, and many other things.

Aah, I said inside my mind that if a snake doesn’t act like a snake children will use it and tie firewood. 

I said I must defend myself because I didn’t post such.

I got angry and asked to see the screenshot so I would know where to start.

My Aunty showed me.

I looked at the name of the person who posted it and it was Olisa my Aunty’s son who is also my cousin. It was a joke he cracked just that my Dad and her sister don’t like jokes and they don’t know when jokes are cracked

The day I posted I dóñ’t want péàce I wànt próblém always on my WhatsApp.

My Dad accused me of joining bad gangs and suspended me from coming to our family house.

We just finished settling that one just in November last year with enough truth to God and plenty of abeg coming from my mouth.

My Aunty opened her mouth waah when she saw it was her son who posted it.

She confessed how she views WhatsApp statues.

She said we shouldn’t blame her that anytime she wants to view WhatsApp statues she will click on the person statues she has in mind and it will be playing that she doesn’t know when it enters another person’s own that everything she watches she will assume it is the same first person she opened his/her statues posted it.

She then apologized and my Dad apologized too.

I asked her since it was Olisa her son who posted it that means she would disown him.

She said she knew what she would do to him.

I then understood the statement Chibueze made when I was coming.

He asked if he should hide toothpaste before I lick it.

I shouted God!!! So Chibueze was referring to me.

Me Ember!!! Toothpaste licker!! God forbid!!

I didn’t know when I got angry and raised my voice at my Dad and Aunty asking them why they discussed such before 10 years ago.

I jacked Chibueze. used our bathroom slippers and changed his life at once for good.

After flogging him…

I know Chibueze well my parents don’t know him a bit.

I asked him questions on what is happening to the toothpaste my parents are buying in the house because of everything for Chibueze to secure only toothpaste omo it is not ordinary hóha! Otoro nkiti biko!!

said it na!

Chibueze was only securing what matters most to him!!

He doesn’t want to share close-up toothpaste with me because close is his food when he’s alone in the house.

My Mom shouted!! She said no wonder she buys close up every week not knowing it was Chibueze who licks it.

That was how I left without packing any foodstuffs (heartbreak).

But my coming to that family house again will be clean up… Mkpocha na nzacha since they stress me this much for just the small rice I wanted to pack.

Not as if I’m packing many. Is evening picking I wanted to pick. Something I will just count like 70 seeds from the bag.

Nobody should call me a thiévé, ooh I’m just doing what will eliminate ulcer kpàta-kpàta.

Amaka Ember

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I’m 21 years old. My dad abandoned me, but he suddenly showed up two months ago. I only found out about him when I was 10, But right now I’m having sexual urge for him

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“I’m 21 years old. My dad abandoned me, but he suddenly showed up two months ago. I only found out about him when I was 10. He used to work for my grandparents as a house help when he was 16. My mom was 19 then. They had an affair, and she got pregnant with me.

My grandparents took my mom to Ghana while she was pregnant. Now, 21 years later, my mom decided to relocate, and that’s how she and my dad reunited. I was amazed to see my dad for the first time. He’s young and handsome. But after a while, things changed. I realized I don’t feel that father-daughter bond between us. To be honest, I’m sexually attracted to my dad. I’ve been in relationships before, but I’ve never felt this way. I’m currently in my third relationship, but I’m losing interest in my boyfriend.

Sometimes, I unknowingly flirt with my dad. I think he might feel the same way, but he doesn’t say anything. Lately, I’ve been jealous of my mom, especially when they’re intimate. I listen or peek through the door. I feel like if I could just be with him once, I’ll stop having this urge. We’ve been separated for a long time, and we don’t share a bond. My mom traveled back to Ghana two days ago and will be back in two weeks. I’m left alone with my dad, and the temptation is strong.

Please, is there something I can do to stop this urge? I’m really trying.”

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Roman Catholic Reverend Father Michael Ogochukwu Ezeh and Reverend Sister Claire Chioma O. Set to Tie the Knot

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The path of love is often unpredictable, leading people to unexpected places, and it seems to have done just that for Reverend Father Michael Ogochukwu Ezeh and Reverend Sister Claire Chioma O. The couple, who have found a deep connection in each other, are now preparing to celebrate their love through the holy sacrament of marriage. The event is scheduled to take place on the 26th of October, 2024, at St. Phillip Catholic Church, Port Harcourt, where they will exchange vows and embark on this new chapter of their lives together.



Reverend Father Michael, hailing from Enugu State, and Reverend Sister Claire, originally from Afikpo North in Ebonyi State, come from strong Catholic backgrounds. Their lives, dedicated to the service of the Church, saw them traverse the paths of religious devotion, spirituality, and community service, until eventually finding love in each other. Their decision to step into matrimony, having both embraced celibacy at different points, comes as a unique and bold testament to the beautiful surprises life can offer.


The journey of transitioning from religious service to a committed marital relationship is indeed an extraordinary one for Father Michael and Sister Claire. Traditionally, members of the Catholic clergy adhere to vows of celibacy and service. Yet, some, having deeply discerned their calling, may find themselves choosing the path of marriage, feeling that their love for one another is in alignment with God’s purpose for their lives.

Their decision serves as a poignant reminder that love knows no boundaries. It is a beautiful demonstration that one’s commitment to God and spirituality does not necessarily end with the choice to share life with another person. Instead, it could signify a new form of serving God—through the sacred union of marriage.



The wedding ceremony at St. Phillip Catholic Church in Port Harcourt promises to be a significant event. With the blessing of family, friends, and the church community, Father Michael and Sister Claire’s union will be celebrated in a traditional Catholic mass, officiated by church leaders who support their decision to marry. The couple has extended invitations to fellow clergy members, friends, and well-wishers, asking for prayers and blessings as they prepare for this sacred moment.

The event will undoubtedly attract attention, not just within the local Catholic community but also across Nigeria. Their journey serves as an inspiration to many, showcasing that love and faith can indeed walk hand-in-hand, and that every love story is unique in its path to fulfillment.



Reverend Father Michael and Reverend Sister Claire’s story is a testament to the power of love. Their courage in choosing to follow their hearts, even if it means taking an unconventional path, reminds us all that love is indeed a beautiful and transformative force. It has the power to transcend expectations, societal norms, and even religious traditions when it aligns with one’s understanding of divine purpose.

As the couple gets ready to walk down the aisle, we extend our heartfelt congratulations and wish them a lifetime of happiness, love, and shared faith. May their journey together continue to inspire others to embrace love in all its forms.

Let’s raise a toast to the soon-to-be newlyweds and celebrate their beautiful union! Congratulations to Father Michael and Sister Claire, as they embark on this blessed and exciting journey together.

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Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo and Fulani Are Not The Names of Any Tribe – Reno Omokri

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You need to understand your own cultural identity; otherwise, you will keep seeing yourself as those who control the mainstream media see you, rather than how you really are. For example, Yoruba, Hausa, Fulani, Igbo, Ijaw and Edo are not tribes.

A tribe is a small group of primitive people, existing in a traditional society, subdivided into families and communities connected by a common language and ancestry.

Going by that definition, supported by the Oxford English Dictionary, most Nigerian ethnicities are not tribes. They are ethnic nationalities.

So, why do we use the term tribe to describe our ethnic identity? It is because the colonialists deliberately used the word tribe to make you look and feel inferior.

Just as they beat Kunta Kinte in the fictional TV series Roots, until he recanted and replaced his real African name with the slave name Toby, so did the colonialists browbeat you and I until we accepted that we were tribesmen and tribeswomen.

Take the Yorubas, for example. The Olukumi Omoluabi are found in large numbers in Nigeria, Brazil, Benin, Togo, Sierra Leone, and Cuba and are scattered throughout the Caribbean.

Hausa and Yoruba are Africa’s second and third most prominent indigenous languages.

Ndi’Igbo have significant indigenous populations in Cameroon and Equatorial Guinea.

Yet, members of these groups use the word tribe to describe themselves.

Each of these sub-nations has a population far in excess of the population of Belgium, which has 11.7 million people of primarily Flemish origin.

But since you were born, have you ever heard the Flemish people being described as a ‘tribe’? So, why refer to your ethnicity as a tribe?

Look, if a cat wants to grow and become a lion, it must stop chasing mice. If Nigeria is to become a great nation, we must remove the subliminal barriers and glass ceilings that the colonialists put in our minds.

Take a look at these Ife Bronzes. They are a thousand years old and show Olukumi Omoluabi people fully dressed, wearing jewellery and holding iron tools.

How could you be this advanced a thousand years ago and still believe you are a tribe?

Belgium did not exist a thousand years ago, and they are a nation, but you, who existed over a thousand years ago, are a tribe? Make that make sense to yourself.

It is time to make a mental shift. Do not use the word tribe to describe yourself or your ethnicity. You are an individual member of an ethnic nationality. Once you understand that, how you see yourself and allow others to treat you will change.

And while you are at it, give up your suave slave name and start bearing an original African name.

The right people will like you better if you just be yourself rather than who you are not. Bear your heavy African name. Take a poll. Whether Aliko Dangote, Kemi Badenoch, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Wake Adeyemo, Chimamanda Adichie, Tope Awotona, or Bayo Ogunlesi, the most successful Black Africans bear their African names, not European, Jewish or Arabic names.

And wear your cultural attire. It does not look funny. That is your inferiority complex, speaking. And refuse to bleach. Organic cream is an organic fraud. You can be Black and beautiful. Solomon wrote the only love letter in the Bible for a Black woman (Songs of Solomon). Your Blackness is your greatness. Please don’t get in the way of it. Instead, get in line with it!

Reno Omokri

Gospeller. Deep Thinker. #TableShaker. Ruffler of the Feathers of Obidents. #1 Bestselling author of Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years. Hodophile. Hollywood Magazine Humanitarian of the Year, 2019. Business Insider Influencer of the Year 2022.

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