“I’m 21 years old. My dad abandoned me, but he suddenly showed up two months ago. I only found out about him when I was 10. He used to work for my grandparents as a house help when he was 16. My mom was 19 then. They had an affair, and she got pregnant with me.

My grandparents took my mom to Ghana while she was pregnant. Now, 21 years later, my mom decided to relocate, and that’s how she and my dad reunited. I was amazed to see my dad for the first time. He’s young and handsome. But after a while, things changed. I realized I don’t feel that father-daughter bond between us. To be honest, I’m sexually attracted to my dad. I’ve been in relationships before, but I’ve never felt this way. I’m currently in my third relationship, but I’m losing interest in my boyfriend.

Sometimes, I unknowingly flirt with my dad. I think he might feel the same way, but he doesn’t say anything. Lately, I’ve been jealous of my mom, especially when they’re intimate. I listen or peek through the door. I feel like if I could just be with him once, I’ll stop having this urge. We’ve been separated for a long time, and we don’t share a bond. My mom traveled back to Ghana two days ago and will be back in two weeks. I’m left alone with my dad, and the temptation is strong.

Please, is there something I can do to stop this urge? I’m really trying.”

You need to understand your own cultural identity; otherwise, you will keep seeing yourself as those who control the mainstream media see you, rather than how you really are. For example, Yoruba, Hausa, Fulani, Igbo, Ijaw and Edo are not tribes.

A tribe is a small group of primitive people, existing in a traditional society, subdivided into families and communities connected by a common language and ancestry.

Going by that definition, supported by the Oxford English Dictionary, most Nigerian ethnicities are not tribes. They are ethnic nationalities.

So, why do we use the term tribe to describe our ethnic identity? It is because the colonialists deliberately used the word tribe to make you look and feel inferior.

Just as they beat Kunta Kinte in the fictional TV series Roots, until he recanted and replaced his real African name with the slave name Toby, so did the colonialists browbeat you and I until we accepted that we were tribesmen and tribeswomen.

Take the Yorubas, for example. The Olukumi Omoluabi are found in large numbers in Nigeria, Brazil, Benin, Togo, Sierra Leone, and Cuba and are scattered throughout the Caribbean.

Hausa and Yoruba are Africa’s second and third most prominent indigenous languages.

Ndi’Igbo have significant indigenous populations in Cameroon and Equatorial Guinea.

Yet, members of these groups use the word tribe to describe themselves.

Each of these sub-nations has a population far in excess of the population of Belgium, which has 11.7 million people of primarily Flemish origin.

But since you were born, have you ever heard the Flemish people being described as a ‘tribe’? So, why refer to your ethnicity as a tribe?

Look, if a cat wants to grow and become a lion, it must stop chasing mice. If Nigeria is to become a great nation, we must remove the subliminal barriers and glass ceilings that the colonialists put in our minds.

Take a look at these Ife Bronzes. They are a thousand years old and show Olukumi Omoluabi people fully dressed, wearing jewellery and holding iron tools.

How could you be this advanced a thousand years ago and still believe you are a tribe?

Belgium did not exist a thousand years ago, and they are a nation, but you, who existed over a thousand years ago, are a tribe? Make that make sense to yourself.

It is time to make a mental shift. Do not use the word tribe to describe yourself or your ethnicity. You are an individual member of an ethnic nationality. Once you understand that, how you see yourself and allow others to treat you will change.

And while you are at it, give up your suave slave name and start bearing an original African name.

The right people will like you better if you just be yourself rather than who you are not. Bear your heavy African name. Take a poll. Whether Aliko Dangote, Kemi Badenoch, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Wake Adeyemo, Chimamanda Adichie, Tope Awotona, or Bayo Ogunlesi, the most successful Black Africans bear their African names, not European, Jewish or Arabic names.

And wear your cultural attire. It does not look funny. That is your inferiority complex, speaking. And refuse to bleach. Organic cream is an organic fraud. You can be Black and beautiful. Solomon wrote the only love letter in the Bible for a Black woman (Songs of Solomon). Your Blackness is your greatness. Please don’t get in the way of it. Instead, get in line with it!

Reno Omokri

Gospeller. Deep Thinker. #TableShaker. Ruffler of the Feathers of Obidents. #1 Bestselling author of Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years. Hodophile. Hollywood Magazine Humanitarian of the Year, 2019. Business Insider Influencer of the Year 2022.

In what can only be described as an alarming act of lawlessness and unprofessionalism, over 20 military recruits from Mufulira barracks went on a violent rampage, indiscriminately assaulting innocent civilians last night. This shameful act left several people injured, including Kankoyo Member of Parliament, Heartson Mabeta, who suffered a broken hand after being beaten by these recruits. Such lawlessness demands accountability at the highest levels, and it is time to hold President Hakainde Hichilema responsible for the continued decline of discipline within the country’s security forces.

The terrifying scene unfolded after a group of taxi drivers allegedly got into a brawl with two recruits in the Mufulira Central Business District (CBD). The injured recruits, rather than reporting the issue through proper channels, returned to the barracks and rallied their colleagues for retaliation. In a blatant disregard for the rule of law and order, the recruits stormed the town, attacking pedestrians and motorists in their path. The chaos resulted in damaged property, including Mr. Mabeta’s vehicle, and left a trail of fear and destruction in its wake.

This brazen display of violence highlights an underlying issue of unprofessionalism that has taken root within Zambia’s military under President Hichilema’s administration. The fact that recruits, who are supposed to uphold the values of discipline and protect civilians, would resort to such thuggery raises serious concerns about the effectiveness of the leadership at the top. Where is the president’s voice in all this? Where is the commitment to ensuring that the military, an institution that should represent national security and order, maintains its dignity and upholds professionalism?

Unfortunately, this incident is not isolated. Zambia has witnessed a growing trend of indiscipline among its security personnel, signaling a dangerous descent into lawlessness. What is even more disturbing is that these issues seem to stem from a lack of clear direction and leadership at the top.

President Hichilema, despite being in power, has failed to address the recurrent acts of brutality and misconduct by the military. His administration’s silence and lack of decisive action against such transgressions has emboldened these recruits, who now feel they can act with impunity. A strong military is vital for any nation’s defense, but when those responsible for defending the nation begin to terrorize their own people, the president must be held accountable.

Ministry of Information and Media Permanent Secretary Thabo Kawana attempted to downplay the situation, clarifying that the rampaging recruits were not a group of 500 as previously claimed but 22. Regardless of the numbers, the reality remains that the president’s administration has allowed this kind of behavior to proliferate. It is no longer about how many recruits were involved; it is about the lawlessness that has been allowed to fester unchecked.

Mr. Kawana’s statement that residents should avoid provoking recruits is a weak attempt at shifting the blame onto civilians. The real issue is the president’s failure to instill discipline and professionalism in his military forces. Instead of focusing on proper training and emphasizing respect for civilians, President Hichilema’s administration has allowed the military to become a tool of terror in the hands of undisciplined recruits. How can civilians be expected to trust their military when its recruits go on violent rampages without fear of consequence?

The actions of these recruits not only showcase their disregard for professionalism but also reflect poorly on the leadership overseeing them. The army, under the command of President Hichilema, is supposed to serve and protect the citizens of Zambia, not brutalize them. This incident calls for a complete overhaul of military training protocols and a reevaluation of the moral and ethical standards being imparted to the recruits. At the heart of it, this is a failure of leadership and governance.

President Hichilema must take full responsibility for the lawlessness exhibited by these military recruits. The Zambian people deserve a military that exemplifies discipline, professionalism, and respect for human rights. It is high time that President Hichilema takes meaningful action to address this growing crisis before Zambia’s reputation and its citizens’ safety are further compromised. The nation is watching, and it demands accountability.