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At age 21, I had aborted seven times – lady narrates her life

Seven terrible times, I nearly died in the seventh attempt. By the time I was 36 years, I lost count. Abortion was like pressing pimple from my face.

It all started when I lost my virginity at 15, it was incest: a cousin drugged and savaged my hymen.
That was the early trauma of my life. I was lonely, broken and battered.Yet, I had no mother or father.

The sad story was that I was also a product of rape. I never knew who donated the sperm to my poor late mother, I didn’t know my father, my upbringing was horrible. My mother died during labour.

Just after I was deflowered, my urge for sex became voracious. By 17 it had gone so bad that I had to do it every day, if there was no man ready, I would masturbate countless times, the urge was like fire I must quench.

I was very smart when having intercourse, but in S.S 2, I got pregnant. That time, I was still living with my uncle. I didn’t know who was responsible because I used to have sex almost daily. I became sacred, if my uncle should find out, he would kill me. He was cruel to me before and I was living like a slave in his house. His first child, my cousin, was the one who raped me and broke my hymen. He drugged me and deflowered me.

I eventually ran out of the house in shame and confusion.

I ran to Lagos frustrated and confused, I didn’t know where to go. I remember my first night in Lagos, I was roaming around the street looking for where to sleep. There was no where to stay, I kept roaming with my little bag. It was during harmattan and I was shivering in cold.

Then I saw a group of ladies afar in skimpy skirts and breast-revealing gowns. I was sacred to move close. One of them, Simbi, moved close to me, it was like she knew my dilemma, she welcomed and took me to her home. She lived in a ghetto and as we got there, there was smoke and drinking everywhere though it was late at night.

I finally confirmed that she was a fill time prostitute. She took me to her only room. It was a single room with two mattresses on the floor. There was an offensive odour that greeted me as she opened the door.

She accommodated me without many questions. I was sacred but I had no option. She helped me to abort the three-month pregnancy. She knew what to do exactly. From that time, I did abortion countless times. Though Simbi removed her womb, I was scared to do so.

My sexual desire eventually met satisfaction in prostitution, at least, I could satisfy my urge and get paid. I also went into smoking and drinking, gradually my life turned to a total mess. I bleached my skin to keep my attraction and I drugged daily to have energy in bed for as many as were ready for paid sex.

I had no family, you couldn’t trace me to anyone except Simbia, my boss in ‘Ashewo’. All through this time, many came to preach, but I hated them. I didn’t want to hear anything about God.

I had so many questions unanswered and I hated God. Why did He create me for suffering? He should not have created me.

My mother suffered and died. My mother, as I was told, was raped at 18 and died at my delivery. Since I was a mistake, I decided to live a life of a mistake too before I die. And if God was real, I wanted to see. I wanted to see why He left me for suffering

While I was in the ghetto, several guys took a risk and came to preach to me, I accused them that they were rapists, they were beaten to stupor by hoodlums.

I had a reserved hatred for the male gender. I saw my cousin who deflowered me in every young guy and when I saw any married man, all I saw was my cruel uncle. Since I didn’t even know my own father, I just hated all men.

“I don’t need a man, except to satisfy me in bed and make money.”

Even ladies, I ridiculed those called sisters who came to preach. I have hatred for everybody.

Unfortunately, things started falling apart for me.

Simbi died and I inherited her room. Not long after this, I contracted HIV/AIDs. I thought my life was going to end, so, I promised to spread the virus to as many as possible. I became aggressive in prostitution. Since the world was not nice to me, I decided to make it worse before I die. “Yes, let us spoil everything, the suffering must spread.”

But I couldn’t keep up, the virus made all kinds of diseases surface in my body: I had this headache that made me feel like I would run mad, migraine; I had skin cancer, my lungs were weak because of the excessive weeds and cigarettes I had smoked.

Regrettably, people stopped patronising me. I was shocked, I never knew it would be that soon, but my overused body was squeezing and shrinking daily, I was becoming a skeleton with a worn-out layer of skin. You would think I was 63 at 36.

Ah! Yet I I had no one by me. I thought the end had come. So I waited for death.

I became worse week after week until one chosen day, a young lady came to my stinking room at the ghetto. If it were before, I would chase her, but I was too weak to do that.

Then she started speaking about God’s love.

I laughed with the remaining strength till I was shedding tears — I thought I had offended God beyond forgiveness. Why on earth would God care for such a battered girl like I was?

The Lady said God told her to come to me and I should come to Him. It was all like lies. If God existed and He remembered me, then, it should be for judgment because I hated God and I hated men.

I knew I had countless demons in my body, I heard them telling me what to do. Many times, they told me what to do to get customers. I could have information about my customers by these demons, through this, I made more money, stole their belongings and did what I liked.

But the worse was that, when HIV came, the demons kept telling me God would not forgive me. They said I was going to die if I dare go to church.

Since I knew no one, life was terrible. But this lady, her name, Christiana, kept coming with food. There was something about her, anytime she was with me, I felt happy, I stopped hearing voices in my head. She became my friend and was inviting me to church.

I eventually followed her for a crusade.

The last time I was in church was before I left home. I wouldn’t have followed her but when she first prayed for me, the voices in my head stopped.

Also, I used to see Simbi in my dream, this also stopped, so I felt there could be more if I followed her.

She didn’t know I was HIV positive, though my look was terrific, she told me, God would do more for me.

Well, I was only waiting for death and I had this fear of facing God after death. So I simply followed her. After all, I thought mine was over and there was nothing left than to die. I was not even sure I would be buried. Who knew me?

At the crusade, as we approached, there were people there already. Decent people, they were looking happy. I envied them as I looked around.

Then an usher said, “Sister you can sit here.” I thought that couldn’t be me. So I stood still. She touched me and said, ” I’m sorry ma, you can sit here.”

What! I felt good, I had no sister except Simbi, my boss. My customers called me only sexy names. To be called a sister by a stranger, that simply gladdened my heart. Besides, I looked terrible, yet she called me sister and offered me a sit.

I watched them sing and dance. I wasn’t familiar with church again and didn’t know their songs.

When the preacher came up, that was the most loving word I ever heard. He was speaking to me, it was about God’s love. Every word hit me. I thought he came to preach to me alone.

He said that Jesus could heal any terminal disease. He said Jesus could give a new beginning!

“Could there be a new beginning for a battered life like mine?” I thought.

My eyes started to drop tears, I felt like someone embraced me with a warm blanket. I was sobbing and my head was bowed. Under my breathe, I muttered, “Jesus, if you can save anyone, please save me.”

That was the last thing I remember saying. It was like something pulled me backwards and I became unconscious.

When I opened my eyes, I was in a room surrounded by about ten people. They were all saying what I couldn’t understand at the same time, praying for me.

I saw a small dead snake on the floor, I was told I vomited it.

This was the beginning of my new life. I was healed of every disease in my body. By that time I was 36, I never thought I would live again. I never knew I still had more years to live on earth.

Career, marriage or family was out my mind. Who would marry a mess like I was?

But God beautify my life quickly and I am happily married today. The most amazing thing was that I have two Kids. Even though I had told you where I am coming from, but words can’t describe how horrible my life was. But see me today, I am happy to serve a loving living God.

I have been preaching the gospel in the ghetto, and I want to spend the rest of my life spreading God’s love. I am eternally grateful to God for His indescribable love.

The overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God. It chased me down, fought until I was found…I couldn’t earn it and I don’t deserve it.

God’s love is real and I have tasted it. I don’t know how your life is right now that you are reading, but Gods love is like an ocean that will swallow you.

Ever since I accepted Jesus and serving God, He has never reminded me of my sins. Simbi couldn’t taste of this love, if you are alive, you need to receive this love now. Receive a new life in Jesus.

Say this prayer aloud:

“Dear God, I know I’m a sinner but I have realised you love me. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him from the dead.

I ask for your forgiveness. I want to trust Jesus as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

Congratulations if you have just prayed the prayer. Just like I did, you need to join a church too. Don’t be confused about the church, God will guide you. The church will help you to grow and support your new life.

Story titled: GHETTO TO GRACE


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